Please don’t tell me how to shoot. Thanks.

First-off, a few things that need to be stopped:

1. The widespread and very old Angelina Jolie fetish.

2. “Pwned.” Knock it off, or stay within the confines of Myspace.

3. Myspace. I left a comment on someone’s page, and when I refreshed my home page, I had thirty friend requests from fictitious chicks wanting to sell me XXX passwords. The only thing more useless than Myspace itself are the monkeys who designed it. Thanks for whoring me out to hordes of vicious spambots, you bastards. Tom should be stomped by Hell’s Angels.

I think that’s enough for now. Next order of business:

Don’t tell me how to shoot. Period. Unless you’re James Nachtwey; I’ll take all the constructive criticism he’s willing to offer, but until he calls (someday he’ll call), the rest of you stop sending me useless comments such as: You focused on the wrong spot; the background is too blurry; his face isn’t intense enough; you should have used a smaller aperture; and other shit along those lines. The photos are the way they are for a reason, and maybe if you took a little more time before piping up you would discover what that reason is.

Look, I’ve been doing this for damned near fifteen years. I may not be as famous as, say, the aforementioned Mr. Nachtwey, or David Hume Kennerly, but I can assure you that I know where I’m focusing, and if I post a photo to deviantART, or anywhere else, you can be damned sure that it isn’t one of the b-side rejects that I considered to be “good enough” to show to the world in my personal online portfolio.

If you’re so anxious to type something on your keyboard and prove you know everything about photography because you took that class at the local community college, this is your outlet. I’m sure there are more than a few groups there that meet your fancy.

I am a photojournalist. Therefore, most of the stuff I shoot is photojournalism. Know what that means? I don’t fucking pose people. Period. I’m sorry he was making the wrong face for you. Next time I’ll tell him to go back and score that touchdown again, and this time he’d better get it right (BTW, the face in question was perfect, which piques my curiosity about what these people are actually looking at when they start hitting the keys).

It’s not like this happens very often, but when it does it’s maddening. But, I don’t say anything because it’s rough to say, “Listen, fucko, I have a speech for you,” without sounding like a dick. Meh.

Maybe I should just admit to myself that sometimes it’s okay to be a dick. That would be fun.

Or, maybe when people have the desire to leave comments about my photos, they should concentrate on trying to decipher the meaning behind the image instead of finding new and annoying ways to sling around some stale photography advice that’s been bouncing around in their heads.
That’s so crazy it just… might…work.

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~ by peakaction on July 22, 2006.

2 Responses to “Please don’t tell me how to shoot. Thanks.”

  1. “Maybe I should just admit to myself that sometimes it’s okay to be a dick. That would be fun.”

    admitting this to yourself is step one! 😉

    it’s easy.

    trust me! 😉

    and, yeah, totally fucking maddening for someone who only “wants to make noise on their keyboard” to say, “don’t you think you could have recomposed” or “don’t you think it would be better to focus on this eye.”

    yeah, fucko …

    fuck yourself. 😉

  2. Found you though Chris Weeks.

    Nice blog. I think I will give you some fucked up critisism about how your depth of field was too shallow or some bullshit like that, but then you would just hammer me on how pittifully I spell. Counter productive I think.

    I hate that shit too. I don’t mind taking CC from someone I admire or whos work is what I would consider very to extremly good but your average jumpstart artist photographer guy giving me a bunch of huey pooey bs critisism is just about enough for me to go and buy a freakn RPG and go out on a hunt for Critics…

    Generally the only reason I will give anyone any cc is if they either ask for it, or I want them to look at my work. If I want them to look at my work I will hammer their work, cause sure as shit they will come check your shit out, since you obviously think you are hot shit. Then I will let them know how I really feel about their work, which is usually fairly high praise.

    nuf said

    PS fuck you very much… LOL
    Keep up the good work.

    ETS

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